JJ Abrams' Past Will Doom Us

Being such a huge fan of Lost and the trailer for Star Trek, I innocently decided I would do a little research into the first couple projects by JJ Abrams. To my horror, I found out that Mr. Abrams once co-wrote this:
I feel like I need a shower. This is just wrong.



Also, his little profile bio on Wikipedia mentions nothing of this film. It's like even websites are trying to act as if it never happened.
WWDFD? What Would Daniel Faraday Do? If he were to do a time jump back to 1997 LA, he'd probably shrug his shoulders and say that whatever happened, happened, so there's no use in trying to stop JJ's hand from typing words that will come out of Joe Pesci's mouth. But then Jack would be there and he'd be all, "If we stop him from writing this script then he won't become successful and he'll never write Lost and we'll never crash on the island and we'll all be okay."
And then Faraday will be like, "But we're only characters! We'll never exist!" And he'll try to kill Jack before Jack can kill JJ, but JJ will see it coming and he'll immediately start writing Lost and make Eloise jump out from a corner and shoot Daniel and Jack.


Goddam Sayid, cool it. As long as Gone Fishin' gets made, you can still shoot boy Ben.