A Lack of Understanding OJ Will Doom Us

So Hulk Hogan is really pissed off at his bitch of a wife, Linda, because she's divorcing him and taking all his money. Apparently she's also dating some teenage dude, which wouldn't be so gross if she weren't so gross. In an interview with Rolling Stone(why is Hulk doing an interview with Rolling Stone?), Hulk says(via CNN):

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody's throat."

Could have. Key words. Hulk's not actually going to murder the greedy bloodsucker. Or, maybe...

"I totally understand O.J. I get it."

Oh, whatever. Hulk's just thinking out loud, you know, weighing his options. Because really, his logic works out: if he'd pulled an OJ on his wife he wouldn't be having any of these problems. He's not saying he'll do it! I mean, look at OJ! Dude got to skip that whole divorce shit!

Watch out Linda, or you'll get this shit in your face: